Small Yappa-Type Dog
Monday, February 16, 2004
Sorry for absence; if I was allowed to write this at work I'd be much better at posting more frequently. At the moment I am attempting to edit the work of dim-witted history teachers. Their glossaries are shockingly bad. It is admittedly quite difficult to define some words consisely and simply, but some of these teachers are just plainly incompetent. Let me give you a few examples of their uselessness:

Communism: a way of governing a country where the government has complete control

Civil rights: Things which people are entitled to automatically


It all makes me want to weep. It's going to take a month to copy-edit the shit they're producing. Why is it people are incapable of reading instructions? I spent a week writing an author pack which no one seems to have read. They all suck!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
What a poser! I only scored 6.7% on the Geek test. I don't know how Greg managed to score so low - I mean, this is the man that catalogues all the books he owns and switched the colour of his blog so that it went with the furniture in his room! I fear, however, that cheesemonger will turn out to be an ubergeek.
Monday, February 02, 2004
Every month or so our American chief sends us a 'pep talk' email. They are absolutely hilarious. I thought I might post his December issue, which was one of his best - it had our office in stitches:

Adversity can brew its own rewards:
A friend from Europe sent me the below story which I would like to share. It struck me as particularly appropriate for this time of year; we're all scurrying with year-end activities at work and at home. It involves a chef father trying to help his teenage daughter overcome the stresses and adversities of her life.
This father took his daughter into his kitchen and placed three pots of water on three burners. As he turned up the heat under the pots, he added a carrot to one pot, an egg to another, and a coffee bean to the third.
After letting the food boil for a time he removed the contents of each pot and asked his daughter what she saw. The father then explained:
The carrot had gone into the water rigid but came out soft. The egg stayed hard in the water, but when the father broke it open, he showed his daughter how it was now hard on the inside. In the third pot, the water had become a steamy aromatic brew of coffee.
All three of these foods faced the same boiling water, the father explained, but they all reacted differently. The carrot went in hard and unrelenting. The vegetable was reduced to softness by the heat. The egg went in fragile with a thin shell protecting its soft center. The water left the egg hard on the inside. The coffee bean was unique, however. The bean changed the water. "Which food do you want to be when adversity knocks?" The father asked the daughter.
I challenge you to answer this question for yourself. When the stakes are high and times are challenging and the hand you've been dealt is a difficult one, do you go in rigid like the carrot, only to be made soft and meek in the end? Do you go in like the egg with a frail shell that's only protecting a soft heart? Were you fluid inside, but once adversity arose you became stiff and hard on the inside? Or like the bean, do you affect the situation you're in and make it better? The funny thing about the bean is that not only does it affect its surrounding - to a great extent the hotter the water is, the better the coffee will taste.
We all face challenges - in our jobs, our families and even our communities. Yet, how we react under adversity determines not only our quality of life, but the quality of life of those around us. I'm always inspired by this story to remember the reaction of the coffee bean. When times are tough, we can take the opportunity to affect a positive change for ourselves and those around us. It is often during the most trying times that we can shine the brightest. What an amazing opportunity we have with every challenge we face!
I hope you take some time, maybe even over a cup of coffee, to think about how you want to react to life's trials. Until next time, keep brewing your finest.

The yappa-type is back after being growled at by larger dogs in the park. I've been really busy at work; I've just not had time to write.
I was sent I rather good email the other day. All you do is type your name in and it predicts what job you should have. I was pleased to find that the computer recognised my leadership qualities, declaring that I should be Emperor of all the world. I found it particularly amusing to see that Steven should be a clown. He was not impressed! Rachel should worry though as Cheesemonger should really be a nun! Hmmm...
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
On Sunday we went to see A Mighty Wind - a spoof documentary-styled film on folk music by the same people that brought you This is Spinal Tap. It's really funny, go see!
Talking of work, I am soooo busy at the moment. One of my projects (among many others) is to find a history fact for each day of the year, find a relevant image and write a caption for it. It's weird how on some days loads of exciting things happened and on others nothing of interest occurred at all. 366 captions to write in about three weeks, and this is just a side project. Over-worked and underpaid, that's me!
God it's a right pain that I'm not allowed to write this thing at work. By the time I get home I can't be bothered, which accounts for my absence of late.

Watched the Paxman grill last night. Why can Blair not see that wanting 50% of young people to go to university is only going to make the financial situation for universities worse. He is very naive if he really thinks that so many people are really academically capable of doing well at university. When someone in the audience suggested that less people should go to university he immediately assumed that the people that wouldn't go would be from poorer backgrounds, but that is not necessarily so. Wealth doesn't equate intelligence. You can still be intelligent enough to get into university and come from a poor family, just as you can be stinking rich and as thick as a brick. The greater the number of people with degrees the more devalued the qualification becomes. Does he really think there are enough 'graduate jobs' for 50% of young people. The businessmen in the audience thought most people's degrees were worthless anyway and these are supposedly going to be the people giving us high paid jobs. I don't think so. They'd much prefer you to have work experience than a degree. Why does everyone assume that just because you have a degree you will automatically earn more than those people who don't have a degree. Well I can certainly say that I don't earn what I would call a 'graduate' wage despite the fact that my job demands that I have a degree to be able to do it. I've even got a Masters and I'm still paid shit all for what I do. I can think of about two people I know who probably earn £25k + and everyone else I know who went to university is either still trying to find work or receives a salary that by no means reflects how qualified they are. You see adverts in the paper for jobs that ask for a person to have a degree and two years experience and who are still willing to work for £16K and that's in London. He should flick through some of the jobs pages then he might see the reality of the situation... rant...rant...rant....
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Went to see Lost in translation last night, an excellent film, which I strongly recommend to you all.
If you haven't already, read up on the rules for this season's new craze: Topsy Tipping. Join the league - go on I dare you. From now on I will walk behind you all, possibly armed with a sharp knife...
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Medge does the best impression of Kilroy. He used to make it his mission to always catch the beginning every morning just to get the tag line, such as: 'You spent £2,000 on prostitutes???' or a particular favourite: 'He's young; rich; goodlooking; he has a ring on his finger - would that bother you?' As you can imagine we are all devastated by the loss.
Rockenspiel's 'rents paid us a visit this weekend and stayed in our rather splendid 'guest room.' On Saturday evening we played Monopoly (I was given a delux version by Steven for Christmas). It is the original version as made by Parker rather than the Waddingtons one. The most dubious rule i the booklet was the fact that you were permitted to collect rent and buy property whilst in jail. That can't be right, surely? I mean, what kind of example does that set? It got to the point, when faced with houses and hotels all round the board, where the safest place to be was jail. In the end, 'Spiel was victorious, with myself coming a close second.
Thought I'd re-post my 2003 post as I had it cunningly saved in Word:

Good news everyone, finally after four months of what can only be termed as employment turmoil, my impending contract has been sent to the Big American Chief. Well vive for that!

Hope you all had a good Christmas and have started the year well. The end of 2003 was frankly hectic. Geology boy and I moved to a new abode but still remaining in the city of C. It is ooh sooo very nice. We even have a dressing room and a guest room so that you can all come and stay (though not all at the same time). The highlight of our house is the music room or should I say ‘studio,’ complete with drums, bongos, 5 guitars, a violin, 3 harmonicas, the rockenspiel, a recorder, sleigh bells, a triangle, a piano and the all important 4 track.

Hmm what else ... ooh went with Rach to see Eddie Izzard at Wembley Arena, which was very good, although I still think arenas are too big for stand-up. EI was looking on top form complete with boobs!

Christmas was fun. Working makes me appreciate what little holiday I get. It has become tradition (in my sister’s sense of the word – i.e. if you’ve done something more than once then it is a tradition) to accompany mon pere to see The Lord of the Rings (what will we do next year???). This year we at least managed to turn up at the cinema that we actually booked the tickets at unlike last years fiasco. Everyone’s already reviewed The Return of the King so I don’t think I’ll bother. All in all good stuff. The only thing that really annoyed me about it was the ending(s). Jackson! What were you thinking?

On the 28th I went up to stay up with Rockenspiel’s family for a couple of days. As planned, we saw the mighty Us v the Impish scum at Lincoln’s rather splendid home ground. Yet again the Imps failed to crush the Yellow greatness and we settled for a draw: 2-2. No gloating for you sucker!

We went to J’s for New Year’s Eve which, thankfully, was not absolute carnage. The house was a bit tight for space so the Silver Hornet was kitted out with duvets and sleeping bags and we slept in that. The next morning the guys played football and came back looking as if they’d taken part in a mud wrestling competition.

Sadly back to work on the 2nd – boo.
Monday, January 12, 2004
Yet again Blogger has been the bain of my life Jensing up my posts. It decided that it would be a good idea to publish everything that I previewed, which basically meant I couldn't edit anything. We think we have now finally solved the problem and the small yappa-type dog has been allowed to bark once again. Fingers crossed. x

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